Essential Ron-ness
by campy
Summary: Kim & Ron have been dating for one week. There's no kung fu fighting, but there's kissing, humor, more kissing, a little angst, more kissing, more humor, ... etc. Read & review.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible. I did buy a little snow globe with figures of Kim, Ron & Rufus in it, but I'm told that rights to the characters weren't included with the purchase. I was quite disappointed to hear that.

Thanks to MrDrP for beta-reading this. If you haven't read his _Epic Sitch_ yet, go read it right now. This'll wait.

* * *

**_Kim Possible_**  
in

**Essential Ronness**

by  
_campy_

Part I

"Okay Rufus, I've got two _grande_ orders of nachos here, extra cheese ..." Ron Stoppable began.

"Mmmm, nachos!" the naked mole rat squealed.

"This one's all yours," Ron continued, placing one basket on the floor of the tree house, "and this one's for Kim and me." He put the second basket on a table in front of the old sofa. "I don't want you taking any of ours until I say it's okay. No matter how ... distracted ... KP and I get. Are we clear, little buddy?"

"Yes SIR!" Rufus agreed, snapping to attention and saluting his friend smartly. He dove into his basket and began munching away at his favorite food. "Yum, cheese!"

Ron gave the tree house a final once-over. Everything seemed to be in place. All he needed now was …

"Hey, Ron!" Kim Possible's glorious mane of auburn hair popped up through the hatch. Her big, round, emerald green eyes sparkled, and her smile lit up the room. (Hey, these clichés develop for a reason!)

"KP!" he exclaimed joyfully. He took her hand and helped her the rest of the way up the ladder. Once she had her feet on the floor, she threw her arms around Ron's neck and kissed him hungrily. Ron's arms wrapped around his girlfriend's lithe form and held her tight.

His girlfriend. Just a week ago Ron had pretty much given up all hope of ever pinning that label on any girl—let alone his dream girl, Kim Possible. She'd fallen hard for the new hottie, and Ron had been left way out of the loop. Erik was Kim's fantasy prom date come to life, and Ron sat all alone in Bueno Nacho, without even a bendy straw for his Slurpster.

But that was all in the past. Erik had proved to be a synthodrone designed to play on Kim's emotions. Ron had lifted her spirits when the feisty teen hero had been on the verge of giving up for good, and Kim, Ron and Rufus had defeated Drakken's Diablo robot army and saved the world yet again. Then the prom, the dance and that first magical kiss …

The first of many. Back in the present, Kim ended the latest in the series, and looked into Ron's deep brown eyes. "I've missed you so much" she murmured. "It's been hours since you brought me home last night."

"Likewise, Kimila. C'mere, let's sit down. I got us some nachos."

"Nachos? But Bueno Nacho's still closed. Are these _Chef Ronald_ creations?"

"Not exactly. They're from Rosalita's, that little family-owned Tex-Mex place downtown. They just started a take-out service to cash in on the BN void. Ned's running it for them."

"Good for Ned. Mmmm, these are delicious!"

"Yeah, I helped them a little bit with the cheese sauce. You'd be surprised how hard it is to give authentic ethnic cuisine that certain fast food-ishness."

"Well, my compliments to the chef's consultant." She gave him a quick kiss.

"Boo-yah! KP kisses, now with nacho cheese! This could be bigger than the naco!"

Ron leaned back on the sofa. Kim sat very close beside him; her back against both the sofa back and Ron's left side. Ron's arm was around her tiny waist and his left hand rested on her trademark bare midriff, Kim covering it with both of hers. Ron could just reach the basket of nachos with his right hand, and he could easily run his fingers through Kim's flippy hair. He was very happy.

Kim sighed. "This is so nice. I'm so glad you finally spoke up back in that storeroom. I think that was what I needed to hear from you to realize that you really were boyfriend material. What took you so long to say something?"

"That's easy, KP. I sure knew you were girlfriend material—even before I saw you in that black dress. But with my place down at the bottom of the 'food chain' …"

Kim winced. "Oh Ron, I feel so ashamed that I ever listened to that junk."

"… I figured I was lucky just to have you as a friend. I just couldn't believe that a girl like you could ever want to date a goofball like me."

"Ron, I never want to hear that stupid 'food chain' junk ever again. The idea that some guy is a better boyfriend than you just because he can throw a ball or shoot a puck is stupid. And as for the goofball stuff: that's a mark in your favor. Talking to Mom this week, I finally realized: I don't just _want_ a goofball; I _need_ a goofball in my life. That's how it works in my family. We Possible women are strong and independent, but sometimes we're wound a _little_ too tight for our own good. You probably haven't seen that side of me because I've had my goofball around since I was four." Ron bit his tongue and simply nodded sagely at this revelation.

"The men are plenty strong in their way too, but they all have a goofy side. It keeps them—as well as their wives and daughters—from blowing a gasket. The men and women who marry into the family tend to fit the same templates. My Grandpa was a bit of a goofball, and Nana loved him. Dad has his goofy side too, and Mom is crazy about him."

"Yeah?"

"Crazy enough that I caught them making out in the kitchen just last night."

"Really? What exactly were they doing?"

"Well, they were sitting in the breakfast nook, kissing ..."

"Kissing how?"

"Sort of like this ..." Kim reenacted what she had seen with Ron in the male lead. "And I think Dad's right hand was—um … actually, never mind where his hand was!"

"You're evil, KP. Don't leave the Ronster hanging like that. Tell me where his hand was."

"I _can't_ tell you, Ron. I … uh … I repressed the memory. It was _way_ too traumatic."

"Now you've got me _really_ curious!" he said, with a hint of his old 'Bad Boy' grin. "I know, maybe you'll recover your memory if I find the same spot with _my_ hand …" He began to move his hand up from her waist to her ribcage.

"Ronald Stoppable, you move that hand one more inch and you'll have a new nickname by Monday: '_Steel Hook!_'' Kim growled.

"Ooooh, tough talk."

"Well, I'm a tough girl, Rondo. I can back it up if I have to. I think you know that."

"Oh, I know it all right. That's one of the things I love most about you" he whispered, pulling her in for a long kiss.

* * *

"Wow …" Kim sighed. "You are much more than just boyfriend _material,_ Ron. You're the finished product. You've got so much going for you. Great chef, great partner in saving the world, you're _such_ a great kisser, and you've always been the greatest friend I could ever imagine." 

"That's nice of you to say, Kim. But you know that last one's not really true. What about the time I promised to help you run for class president, then bailed on you and campaigned for Prince Wally instead?"

"Hmmm, all right, that wasn't _so_ great. But it turned out okay in the end. I mean, Wally was probably as good a president as I would have been. He had the time to devote to it, at least. And it was way cool when he started having the trumpeters play a royal fanfare whenever he entered a room."

"Wally did sort of backslide on that democracy thing toward the end, didn't he?"

"No duh, Ron. He started wearing an ermine-trimmed robe to student council meetings ..."

"Don't forget the bejeweled orb and scepter, KP. Ya gotta love the bling-bling."

"Yeah, he majorly backslid on the democracy thing. But he did some good things for the class. So now that I think about it, I have to say: you saved me from taking on a lot of work I didn't really need to do. That's what I call a total Ron Factor way of being a great friend! Thanks, Ronnie!" She turned around and gave him a quick kiss.

"It appears I may have underestimated this teen hero" Ron muttered, _sotto voce_. He continued, in what was either a very bad Señor Senior Sr. imitation or an even worse Duff Killigan one, "You are indeed a wily foe, Kim Possible. But I predict even you will not be able to twist my next example against me so easily."

Kim half-turned so he could see her face. "Bring," she challenged with a smirk.

"Do you recall the time I interviewed you for the school paper, then deliberately twisted your words and got you stuck in a date with one … Brick Flagg?"

Kim was quiet and still for a long minute. She sat up, slid away from Ron, and turned slightly to face him. She looked a little miffed.

"Y'know, you're right, Ron. That really stunk. You _used_ me to make yourself popular. Thanks to you I had to listen to Adrena Lynn tell every single TV viewer in the whole world that that—that—that _lummox_ was my boyfriend!" Yeah, she was miffed.

"Now KP, you're not being fair. Brick's not really such a bad guy …"

"And I only escaped going on the date with him because he _dumped_ me before it even happened!"

"Yeah, heh heh, lucky break, huh, KP …"

"Now that you've reminded me of that, I wonder if you can remind me why I forgave you?"

Ron considered for a moment, "Um, 'cause I've got cute freckles?"

"You were a rotten friend to me that day, Ron Stoppable. And now you think you can make some silly joke and we'll just laugh about it?"

"Uh … no?"

"I don't want to laugh about it, Ronald. I so don't."

Ron had never fallen from the highest heights to the deepest depths so fast, even on a mission. Just moments ago life had seemed perfect. Now it appeared he'd lost Kim as girlfriend and best friend too. He looked up at Kim ...

_to be continued ..._


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Kim Possible.

Again, thanks to MrDrP for his advice during the writing of this story.

* * *

**_Kim Possible_**  
in

**Essential Ronness**

by  
_campy_

Part II

"You were a rotten friend to me that day, Ron Stoppable. And now you think you can make some silly joke and we'll just laugh about it?"

"Uh … no?"

"I don't want to laugh about it, Ronald. I _so_ don't."

Ron had never fallen from the highest heights to the deepest depths so fast, even on a mission. Just moments ago life had seemed perfect. Now it appeared he'd lost Kim as girlfriend and best friend too. He looked up at Kim. _What is going on with her mouth? It almost looks like she's trying not to … smile?_

At the same instant that thought formed she struck like a cobra, diving on top him and knocking him flat on his back on the sofa.

"But _you'll_ laugh, oh boyfriend of mine!" she shrieked as she set to tickling him in all the spots she'd learned to exploit through more than a dozen years of friendship. "Oh, how you will laugh!"

Really though, it's difficult to say which teen did most of the laughing, as twenty fingers moved too fast for the human eye to follow, from tickle spot to tickle spot. All that can be said with any certainty is that after some time two right hands clamped around two left wrists. The tickling ceased, the merriment subsided. Brown eyes gazed into emerald gazing back. Rates of pulse and respiration returned to only slightly elevated levels, a tad more quickly in the fitter of the pair.

They kissed.

Inside the tree house, time stood still. Across the cosmos, stars were born, burned brightly for eons, and flamed out in blazing supernovae. Life forms slithered out of oceans, sprouted legs, evolved thumbs, grasped crude tools. Countless empires rose and fell. Armies marched. Mighty fleets set sail. Peacemakers offered hands and words of friendship. Still the two kissed.

On the bank of a deep, wide river a warrior princess in exile, daughter of the earth-mother and the battle-father, strode resolutely into her murdered lover's funeral pyre. The ring of purest gold he'd gifted her with fell down into the river, returned to the care of the sisters three, from whose guardianship the metal had been plundered so long ago. The flames rose and spread until they engulfed Warfather's resplendent citadel itself. The river surged over its banks, dousing the fire and washing away all that had been. The world was made new, redeemed by the love of the outcast princess for her betrayed hero.

The kiss ended somewhere during that last part—that was Wagner, nothing can outlast Wagner.

The emerald eyes opened and once again beheld the brown, from behind which a mind bade a voice issue forth three words: "Greatest. Kiss. _Ever_."

Kim giggled. "Ron, you say that like three times a day!"

"And it's true every single time. KP, you are without a doubt the most bon-diggety kisser in the whole history of kissing—and still improving!"

"Nuh-uh, there's one even better. I think I'll kiss him again ..."

As she lowered her eyelids and brought her lips closer to his, far away across the sea, in the great hall of the castle of Monsalvat a pure fool viewed a solemn ritual, seeing, but understanding not —

_beep-beep-be-beep_

Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid we'd be here all day. Kim silently mouthed a word you'll never hear on the Mousey Channel as she sat up and fished the Kimmunicator from her cargo pocket.

"What's the sitch, Wade?"

"You feeling okay, Kim? You look a bit flushed."

"Fine, Wade. Just hanging here with Ron."

"Mmm-kay. Anyway, I just called to give you an update: your dad and I have solved the problem of the leftover Diablos. We won't ever have to worry about anybody re-activating them. We're going to use existing communications satellites to send them a command signal of our own. Every Diablo will be instructed to modify its own listening circuitry."

"Modify, how?"

"As in frying it up so they'll never be able to hear another command signal again."

"That's great, Wade. So the kids won't have to give their toys up?"

"Right. It's really amazing how resilient most people, especially kids, are being about what happened that night. Everyone's seen the footage of that little girl climbing out of the blast crater and picking up the Diablo. A doctor on the Therapy Channel says it's because they were inspired by the courage of the great teen hero."

That got Kim's ire up fast. "Team, Wade. It's a team. I'd like you to contact that doctor for me and make sure he learns that word, please and thank you." She was so tweaked, her habitual courtesy came out sounding almost like a threat.

"Gotcha, Kim. Wade out." The KP logo returned to the screen.

"Or maybe I'll letter T - E - A - M on my knuckles and teach him myself" she muttered to herself.

"Amp down, KP. It's all good. Rufus isn't in this thing for the glory."

"Ron! I hate it when you put yourself down like that! _You_ are my equal partner in this save-the-world thing. Rufus is a vital part of the team, and so is Wade. _Together,_ **_we_** save the world. You all deserve just as much credit as I do."

Ron moved to comfort Kim, who was beginning to tear up. She held out a palm to stop him.

"Ron, please just let me get all of this out before you say or do anything, okay?"

Ron nodded.

"D'you want to know why I can forgive you for sometimes being a not-perfect friend to me? It's because I know I've been a bad friend to you. What was always the number one Ron Stoppable rep? 'Word-I-refuse-to-even-say-starts-with-L' who can't get a date. Well, Tara liked you for a long time. She would have gone out with you if you'd asked. I knew that, but I never told you. I told myself I had a good reason, it would distract you from the team. I even told her once she shouldn't flirt with you as obviously as she wanted to, 'cause it would make you uncomfortable and you knew she liked you already. I knew you didn't know, Ron. I just didn't want you to date Tara 'cause she's a nice, normal girl you could do nice, normal things with, and if you had her in your life you'd stop saving the world with me. And then I'd lose you altogether. And I couldn't take the chance of that happening."

Kim's eyes were brimming with tears. She seemed to be done, so Ron again moved to take her in his arms. She came willingly this time.

"Ah, Kim, it's no big. I wasn't ready to have a girlfriend anyway. I'd have messed it up, probably hurt Tara—and hurting Tara is a _very_ dangerous thing to do."

"Says the guy who's risking a black hole by dating me?" Kim was smiling again.

"KP, no one's ever actually been to a black hole. Who knows? There might be a way back. Tara's dad owns Tri-City Tree Service. A wood chipper, that's forever."

* * *

Kim held Ron's left hand in both of hers, idly playing with it as he fished for nachos with the other. She was beginning to regret what she'd said earlier. Perhaps she'd been too harsh, scared him too much. Maybe she really _wanted_ Ron to put that hand on her, caress her, squeeze her … 

She considered just placing Ron's hand on her breast herself, considered—how had Jessica phrased it, recounting her most recent date with the Mad Dogs' cute-but-timid shortstop?—'awarding him' second base.

She looked at her boyfriend's face. She saw mischief in his brown eyes, and that goofy grin that just made her melt every time.

_No, Possible,_ she mused, releasing Ron's hand, _you don't need to do that. You think you have that boy cowed? As if! All your 16 styles of kung fu and all the deep-space probes your Dad can launch don't have _that_ boy cowed. You just be the 'girl' for once. He'll pick his spot and he'll make his move. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, he'll touch you and it'll take your breath away. Heck, he can do _that_ just by brushing your hair back from your face. Like that …_

Ron leaned in and kissed her again.

* * *

They broke the kiss when they heard a rustle from the basket of nachos in front of them. A rustle and then a crunch. 

"Rufus!" Ron exclaimed, annoyed. "I thought we had an understanding. Those nachos were supposed to be for Kim and me."

"Sorry," the chubby rodent chirped, his beady eyes downcast. "Got_ real_ hungry!"

The little guy looked so contrite that Kim couldn't help but laugh. Ron joined in a moment later.

"Oh, Ron, let him finish them. We can go to my house. I forgot to tell you: Nana finally gave my mom the secret lemon square recipe, and she's making them today."

"Wow, and your parents have been married, what? Twenty years?"

"Twenty-one. Nana waited an extra year just to be sure it would last."

"I'm sure glad Dr. D's still locked up. We'd be fighting him for the crumbs if he was anywhere near Middleton. Rufus, you stay here. I'll bring you back a lemon square if I can."

"Okay! Buh-bye!" Rufus waved and dove into the basket.

Ron rose from the sofa and started down the ladder. He stopped. He shot her the Zorpox grin again.

"I hope you don't mind me going first, KP. I want to watch you come down after me." Then, with a wink, he disappeared. Kim laughed again.

* * *

The two teens approached the Possible home hand-in-hand. It was obvious they'd arrived at the right time: the aroma was heavenly. They opened the kitchen door and stepped inside. 

"Auggghhh! Not again!" Kim moaned. Yes, again. Her parents were sharing a tender kiss in the breakfast nook, a plate of lemon squares on the table in front of them. They looked up as they moved a little further apart.

"Hi, Kimmie; hi Ron. Have some lemon squares. Your dad says they came out just like Nana's."

"Hey, Drs. P.! I'll bet they taste badical! It sure smells great in here—and that looked like a nice little celebration we just walked in on."

Kim's dad looked a bit abashed, her mom looked very pleased with herself and her lot in life. Kim just rolled her eyes.

"Let's go in the den, James. These two will want some privacy," Kim's mom said, getting up from the bench. "Kimmie, do bear in mind, your brothers might walk through that door at any time."

James Possible stood up too, then turned back to reach for one more lemon square. (That he could shoot an icy stare in Ronald's direction at the same time was a nice bonus.) His wife stayed his hand. "You've already had two of those, dear. You need to consider your waistline." The twinkle in her eye hinted that a different kind of sweet-and-tart treat might yet be in his future. Kim's parents left the kitchen.

Kim went red in the face. She sat down in the booth and slid over, holding her head in her hands. Ron slid in beside her and picked up a lemon square.

Kim sighed. "Embarrassment Ninjas and tweebs were nothing. If Drakken had brought _those_ two on my date with Josh, I wouldn't have lasted five minutes."

Ron munched on his lemon square and reflected on how one of his most poignant memories had somehow lost most of its sting. Just the thought of Kim's date with Josh Mankey had once been enough to bring tears to his eyes. While Ron had been trekking through the rain forest to bring back the rare orchid they needed to keep Kim from succumbing to Drakken's serum, Kim had made possibly the single dumbest decision of her life: she'd gone out on a date and nearly been embarrassed out of existence. Ron had returned with the orchid and saved her in the nick of time, with a smile and a thumbs-up even while his heart was breaking. Monkey Boy had ended up kissing Kim goodnight. Now Ron had the girl, and the memory wasn't that painful any more. He helped himself to another lemon square.

"These are very good, KP," he observed analytically. "But I think your Nana uses a pinch or two more grated zest."

Kim picked up a square and took a small bite. She chewed and swallowed, then nodded her agreement. "They _do _taste almost as good as Nana's."

"So KP," Ron said, casually. "When we came in just now, was your dad's hand in the same place it was the oth—OW!"

_fin_

* * *

While I was writing this, Wade hacked into my computer and circulated my first draft around Middleton. Here is a sample of the early feedback I received: 

**Ron Stoppable** said: This story is snobby, pompous, overwritten, and there aren't even any pictures. Compared to this, _Lo, the Plow Shall Till the Soil of Redemption_ is a page-turner.

**Kim Possible** said: Have you been reading my diary? TWEEBS!

**Jim & Tim Possible** sang: Kim and Ro-on / sitt-in' in a tree / kay-eye-ess-ess— … Gotta go!

**Dr. James T. Possible** said: Not cowed, huh? Time for me to have another talk with that boy. If he puts his hands on my little Kimmie-cub, I swear …

**Yori** said: Should you visit the Yamanouchi School again, Ron-san, it would be my honor to read _Lo, the Plow Shall Till the Soil of Redemption_ aloud to you. I believe you would find it quite stirring in the original Japanese.

**Kim Possible** said: Get your own boyfriend, Yori. Ron is MINE!

**Steve Farley** said: Timid? I'll give you _timid!_ Some of us just happen to _respect_ women, you perv!

**Bonnie Rockwaller **said: Brick, are you going to let Kim Possible get away with calling you a lummox?

**Brick Flagg** said: What's a lummox?

* * *

Goodbye, and thanks for reading.  
_campy_


End file.
